Moving Pyramid

How to Treat A Rude Customer

An award should go to the gate attendant at Luqa airport. A crowded
Malta-London flight was cancelled. She was the lone attendant in charge of
re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry
passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the
counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST
CLASS".


The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you,
but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work
something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the
passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"


Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address
microphone: May I have your attention please? May I have your attention
please?" she began. With her voice being heard clearly throughout the
terminal, she said, "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW
WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate
14."


With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at
the attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "F... You!" Without flinching,
she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for
that too."

Si Lee

1. Favorite vegetable
* Mu Lee

2. Favourite Lunch
* Tha Lee

3. What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
* Kha Lee

4. Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name?
* Saa Lee

5. Favorite Breakfast
* Id Lee

6. Favourite festival
* Diwa Lee

7. Favorite Actress
* Sona Lee

8. Favorite Music
* Qawa Lee

9. Most interesting job?
* Coo Lee

10. When did Bruce Lee die?
* Fina Lee

11. How did Bruce Lee die?
* With a Go Lee

12. Favorite hill station
* Kulu Mana Lee

13. Nick name?
* Mawa Lee

14. Favorite Hindi movie?
* Gharwa Lee Baharwa Lee

15. Favourite cricketer?
* Saurav Gangu Lee

16. Favourite Pet
* Bil Lee

17. Favourite Passtime
* Khuj Lee

18. Bathing Place
* Na Lee

19. Sab Maaro
* Taa Lee

20. Mat Do
* Ga Lee

Turnin Over...

...into a new LEAF??














Way to go boy... 

17 extraordinary human capacity

Does god exist ?

does God exist ?

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, the Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't.How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)
Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good? Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.Correct? Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil? (Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and serve theworld around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelled your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes, faith. And that is the problem science has.



Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat,mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor?
Is there such a thing asdarkness?!

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of
something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing
light.... But if you have no! light constantly, you have nothing and it is
called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you
would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality.
You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad
God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we
can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electrici!ty and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either
one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact
that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the oppositeof life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your
students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes,of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realizewhere the argument is going.) !

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at
work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are
you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain? (The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelled it?.....No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrableprotocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it, sir.. The link between man & god is FAITH. That
is all that keeps things moving & alive.


That young man was ALBERT EINSTEIN.......

Holi with a difference

Computer Era "Sholay"

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad
to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh
loot-maar software?

Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".

Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki

Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund
kar diya hai.

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire
kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal
raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one
Water tank and
Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.

Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya
hai ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin
aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain,
Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says:"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska
server down ho gaya."


AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake?

Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga?

Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi... barobar
milegi."
[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine
mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai."
[logout - logout - logout].

"Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar

The Colours of Life !

Imagine a scene without colours.......

Hey! You did! Then you must be lying! Because it is impossible to even imagine something without colours. Even darkness has its typical colour. Now you'll try to say that something abstract like 'Love', 'Jeaslousy', 'Sorrow' doesn't have a colour...but, hey loser. think again, because here they are : LOVE JEALOUSY SORROW !

So you see, colours are everywhere, but its us who fail to notice. All the human senses are inter-dependant, each one can be related with the others. I can go as far as to say that each colour has its smell and taste and vice-versa ! Because I feel it. I feel life is a river, that moves on and on.... it can never come to a standstill, if it does, then either it overflows the obstruction and finds another way of flow, or else DIES. But it never stands still. Colours are like the fishes in the river, Sound is the soothing and continous music of the flowing waters and Taste is the feeling of a mouthful of cool pure water after a long walk under he sun. They all combine to give us the true picture of the river, of Life. Today, we celebrate the Colours of Life!

I remember the day in my childhood when I saw the people on the day of Holi/Dol, walking on the street with faces like aliens, some red, some black, some silver. I've seen them struggling with each other to escape from the mischievous hands of their friends, who make sure that he doesn't have even have a mole on his skin that hasn't been drenched in colours. To tell the truth, I felt very scared. I did never go out in the street that day... I just watched them from my veranda or the roof... those 'creatures' in pitiable and lauhgable states! But somehow, I did miss to take part!

Today, by the rule of nature, which says : "Everything that has a beginning, must end." my friends are no longer here. Either they have changed the residence, or they've formed other groups or else busy with other things. Once, not a single part of our para street was colourless, and now...and now would hardly see a patch of coloured water lying here and there! The whole area seems tobe somewhat deserted, somewhat colourless, somewhat lifeless.

Now I understand. Holi isn't only a day to make your friends' day in the bathroom very tough, but its a day of union, its a day of celebration... celebration of love, celebration of attachment, celebration of Life! Its a day when everyone, breaking the barriers of age, sex and status, come down on the same street, under the same sun and sky, and celebrate happiness. You'd hardly see a person crying on this day, no matter how much drenched he is. At first, maybe, the person who is very reluctant to bear the colour stains on his neatly ironed shirt or nice saree, is very cross when he gets stained. But then, knowing there's nothing to lose, he jumps into the scene and participates in making the others stained... stained with love, with joy, with life. This's how contagious happiness is. You start to smile and you make everyone inspired to do the same! You start to love, and others start loving you. Maybe you're not Manmohan Singh or Abdul Kalam or even a dada of the para, but still you've enough potential to make things change, change for the better... and make this place a better place to live in!

So what are you waiting for ?? RANG DE BASANTI !!

Echo of Life

A man and his son were walking in the forest. Suddenly the boy trips and feeling a sharp pain he screams, "Ahhhhh."

Surprised, he hears a voice coming from the mountain, "Ahhhhh."

Filled with curiosity, he screams, "Who are you?" but the only answer he receives is: "Who are you?"
This makes him angry, so he screams, "You are a coward!" and the voice answers, "You are a coward!"

He looks at his father asking, "Dad, what is going on?"

"Son," he replies, "pay attention!" Then he screams, "I admire you!".The voice answers, "I admire you!" .The father shouts, "You are wonderful!" and the voice answers, "You are wonderful!"
Then the father explains "People call this 'ECHO' but truly itis 'LIFE!'.
Life always gives you back what you give out! Life is a mirror of your actions. If you want more love, give more love!
If you want more kindness, give more kindness! If you want understanding and respect, give understanding and respect. If you want people to be patient and respectful to you, give patience and respect! This rule of nature applies to every aspect of our lives." Life always gives you back what you give out. Your life is not a coincidence, but a mirror of your own doings.


Naman

ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
 
 
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such Meanings and definitions

Romantic countries in the world

H.O.L.L.A.N.D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developedinto Attraction
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of EveryAdversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
P.E.R.U. - Phorget Everyone... Remember Us.
T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love AndNever Dull
P.A.K..I..S.T.A.N:-Pure…Affection…Keeping…In…Soul…True...And...Endless

phone trick

1) Grab a calculator. (You wont be able to do this inyour head)

2) Key in the first three digits of your phone numberif ur phone number is 7 digits or else take the first 4 digits of ur number if its 8 digits.(only land line no.) (NOT the area code)

3) Multiply by 80

4) Add 1

5) Multiply by 250

6) Add the last four numbers of your phone number

7) Add the last four numbers of your phone numberagain

8) Subtract 250

9) Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer ?

Software Engineer From Birth

The Teacher asked the student to write an impositionfor 500 times that

" I Will Not Throw Paper Airplanes in the Class ".

Then student wrote on board....!!!!

ANSOOOOO (Hindi)

Aasuon Ko Bahot Samjhaya Ke Tanhaiyon Mein Aaya Karo Mehfil Mein Humara Mazak Mat Udaya Karo...
Per Aansoo Tadap Kar Bole, Itne Logo Mein Bhi Apko Tanha Paate Hein, Isiliye Tumhara Saath Dane Chale aate Hein...!!!

Perfect Bride

Once a young Brahmin went to the house of a very
respectable old
Brahmin to ask for his young daughters hand.
"My dear Sir", he goes "I have heard that your
daughter has all the good qualities of a
Bahu"?
The old brahmin answered "Yes! More that that,
she is
SoundaryaVati and PadmaVati"
" But can she cook and keep house ? " Asked the
young man.
"Oh yes, she is Dharma Vati" answered the old
man.
"Can she sew"? asked the young man.
"Oh yes yes, she can not only sew, but she is
KalaVati " answered the old man.

"What about her education"?
Asked the young man "She is Vidya Vati"
answered the old man.

And the Vedas"? Asked the young man.
"Oh yes yes , she is VedaVati" answered the old
man.
The young man is very happy to find the perfect bride
and gets married to her.
Two days later he comes back with his newly
married
bride in tow.
The old Brahmin is surprised.
He asks "What happened son"? Why do you look so
upset?
The young man says "Well sir you told me that
your
daughter is
SoundaryaVati, PadmaVati, DharmaVati, Kala Vati,
VidyaVati and VedaVati.

But you did'nt tell me that she is "Garbha-Vati"

also

DeadLock

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."
Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.Naman

BASICS OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS

Remember names
Be simple and moderate
Don’t get angry too often
Smile
Appreciate people
Don’t too selfish
Make other feel important
Be a good listener
Be concerned honestly
Have a feeling that everyone is important in his/her own way
Motivate others
Be genuine, humble & sincere

Intersting Optical illusion

Click On it To View Clearly

















Can Anybody Give me perfect reason why we see this Circle moving but they r atcully Static??

Neways Enjoy

Teens at Top 10

This is to inform you all that right now we've made it to IndianBloggers' Top 10 chart.















I would like to thank all the active members for their invaluable contribution.

Please take care to make our blog a better place by posting your beautiful thoughts/pictures and do visit regularly.

While writting all this Our Rank went to 8!!

Regards,
Naman

some more...

Thank naman 

Say SOmethin...

Nature Photography...












































let me kno if u liked it ..if not...
never mind :)

Eight Special Gifts

1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING...
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response.
Just listening.

2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION...
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.

3) THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER...
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories.
Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."

4) THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE...
It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" note or a full sonnet.
A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.

5) THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT...
A simple and sincere, "You look great in red,"
"You did a super job" or "That was a wonderful meal" can make someone's day.

6) THE GIFT OF A FAVOR...
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7) THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE...
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.

8) THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION...
The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really it's not that hard to say, "Hello" or "Thank you."

How to identify cities in INDIA??

Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right.
You are In Kolkata

Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks
on.
Thats Mumbai

Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace.The first two get together & beat him up.
That's Delhi

Scenario 4

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai-stall
That's Ahmedabad.

Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program.
That's Bangalore

Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and
quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace comes in.
That's Chennai.

Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are DEFINITELY IN PUNJAB .

A case of kiss and a slap:

Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya rai and Sonia are traveling in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Sonia is thinking: These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.
Aishwarya is thinking: Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.
Bush is thinking: Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.
Manmohan is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.

28 WAYS T0 MAKE A Girl Smile

[1] tell her she is Beautiful. not hot or fine Dude I prefer calling any girl hot!

[2] hold her hand at ANY moment even if it is just for a second. Abe ek sec haath pakadne mein bhi current lagta hai

[3] Kiss her on the forehead I surely would love to do so.... but not on forehead

[4] leave her voice messages to wake up to. Sorry cant do that. Reliance dosent have this feature

[5] ALWAYS tell her you love her at any & and all times.



Pagal hai kya piche hi pad jayegi

[6] when she is upset, hold her tight & tell her how much she means to u Dude leave a girl when she is upset.... otherwise all the anger gets diverted to you

[7] recognize the small things ..they usually mean the most. Sorry boss mujhe badi badi baatein to yaad nahin rehti....how can i remember small things

[8] call her Sweetie or BABY This I can do ;-)

[9] Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is Dude do you want the girl to stay there at least for a day with me or not?

[10] pick her over all the OTHER girls you hang out with Then how do I get new girls in life?

[11] write her notes. (she loves them)
I surely would love to do that.... i am starting to do it by taking notes at least for my project

[12] introduce her to family & friends as your girlfriend Wah beta tu to shaadi karwa ke hi rahega meri

[13! ] play with her hair. Abe haath fas jate hain.....

[14] pick her up, tickle her, & play WRESTLE with her. Koi whistle karna sikha do plzzzzzz

[15] sit in the park & just TALK to her. Its too hot in delhi....aur agar park mein gaye to policewale to paise tu dega?

[16] tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her joke That I can do..... kinda joke in myslef only

[17] throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because u missed her.
Yeah yeah so that her dad wakes up n makes m pay for the broken window

[18] let her fall asleep in your arms I prefer sleeping before the gal....mere ! ko kaafi neend aati hai.... n girls talks...they make me even more sleepy

[19] carve your names into a TREE. Gurgaon mein ped pehle dikha de

[20] if she`s mad. Kiss her ! gadhe is she is mad..... r u nuts that rue still going around with her

[21] give her piggyback rides Aur agar 60 kg ki hui to :-(

[22] bring her flowers just because They are free....

[23] treat her the same around your friends as you do when you`re alone abe gadhe....theer are a lotta things which you shld do in private....thappad khilayega kya?

[24] look her in the eyes & Smile Look in her eyes and laugh...girls are funny yaar

[25] let her take as many pictures as she wants Yeah with the digicam you can do that..... but then keeping them without losing them..... kinda diff job

[26] SL0W DANCE with her, even if there isn't any music playing Log pagal samjhenge

[27] KISS HER IN THE RAIN Hmmmm....that I can think of

[28] if you`re in love with her tell her If you are in love kill yourself.... thats better

---------------------------------------------------------------------
"It takes a minute to have a crush an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone"

It's not the fault of the student if he fails

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLYhas 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing properly & swallowing)-means 30days. Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days. Days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday. How can you study on that day??????!!!!!!!!!!
Balance = 0
"Then h ow can a student pass ??"

HEllo World

The Most Wanted People Of MSIT College.
(Specially that person in Light blue T-shirt and .... ).

Real meaning of words used in your Performance Appraisal !!!!

PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL

OUTGOING PERSONALITY.........Always going out of the office
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS...................Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS.......Spends lots of time in talking
AVERAGE GOOD EMPLOYEE...................Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED......Made no major blunders yet
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY................Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY.....................Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY.................Spouse drinks, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER.............Nobody knows what he/she does
QUICK THINKING......................Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER........................Won't make a decision
AGGRESSIVE........................................Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS......Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL.....................Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL..................A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.........Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT..................Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR..............Knows a lot of jokes (dirty ones)
CAREER MINDED...................................Back Stabber
LOYAL TO THE COMPANY............Can't get a job anywhere else

oooooooooooooOOOH

This Is Panda Sir!! 

Some good old SMS's

Promise me we are true friends
I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey.....PoOoOoH!!!
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You r my sweet SONA
I don't want u 2 KHONA
I want a place in your heart's KONA
Otherwise i will start RONA
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA
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TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
E-mail KARNE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!
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Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...
-----------------------------------------------------
Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain
Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chod kar tumeh e-mail karte hain
Dekho hum kitne vele hain
* vele = lazy (vele is a Punjabi word)
-------------------------------------------------------------
Someday u may lose ur hair.
u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.
But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.
coz u cant lose wot u don't have!
------------------------------------------------------
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii....
Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
When u feel sad....
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"dam'n I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness.
But don't make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------
Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain.... waaaaahhhhhhhhh...
--------------------------------------------------------------
Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
---------------------------------------------------------
When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone make
sure that u select someone who will never break your heart coz
broken hearts have no spare parts.
--------------------------------------------
Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
iya paper aur tasveer aapki bnayi
socha tha ki unko dil se laga kar rakhenge
magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi...
--------------------------------------------------
A good Friend is like a computer
he ENTERS in your life SAVE himself
in your heart,FORMATS all your troubles
and never DELETE you from his heart.
-----------------------------------------------
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming
---------------------------------------------
Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota
Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!
--------------------------------------------------
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya
--------------------------------------------------
Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi
------------------------------------------------
Govt. of Pakistan has introduced a new rule
--- Good Looking people should be thrown out of the country!!!
You are safe..... Where should i hide?????

BEST SMS OF THE YEAR 2005

How amazing!! – A mother makes her son “INTELLIGNET” in 20 years, but a girl makes him “STUPID” in 2 mins…

Second Best:
Arguing with a girl is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After some time, u realize that u r getting dirty, but the pig is actually enjoying.

Third Best SMS:
Boys go to college to develop the mind, girls go to college to catch them before this happens.

THe Big Gang

Da Whole Lot...




















<--dats Naman bein adored by Mali..











Dis is Parattoy(Hungry..?)







Dats Sudipto(ad courtsey COLGATE).














<--AHA--Chandrayee & >>Naman<<







Dats Turya and Shouvik(in Red) Posing...

Heading Our Disgust!!

So...MSITians...esp,da comp & it dept studs must be heavin a sigh of relief given dat our darling prof has left us...(or so they say)
Pray for his well being!!
May he be well n happy...and contented dat he never misses us...instead gives us unlimited time to miss him...what could hv been better...
ofcourse ther's gonna be a dearth of pierre cardins...and no more reasons to party just bcoz he looked at u while gvin som lecture...
nor anymore intersting bengali poems...and not forget "beautiful gurl copyin beautiful sum"...
but as Tiwari aptly put it(for da 1st and last time)
..."Life time incomin free"
May he do well wherever he goes...and may da ppl under him hv a pleasant time!!

Latest Terrorist Threat !

Bryan's Story !

Bryan came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Brian, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”. The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter”. Brian was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to send me back straight away”.
St Peter replied “Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.” Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. “This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen,how are you enjoying your first day here?” “It’s not so bad” replies Brian, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode”.“You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before”.
“Never” replies Brian
“Well just relax and let it happen”
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him… ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting “Brian, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you’re sh*tting on the bed.”

Know Me??

Hey Thats Me!!!

Hey Thats our college

1st UNIT TEST

Answer the following question as u r giving a campussing exam

Some weird Suff

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for this stuff)

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Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

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The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hummm... I won't touch THAT one!)

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The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight
and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of...?)(Did the govt pay for this>research??)

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An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

(I know some people like that.)

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Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that too)

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And, the best for last...

Turtles can breathe through their ass.

(No comment)

New Maths Formula and Facts

Ten Rules for Being Human

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period. 2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.

Latest Joke

Hey,

Tihar Jail ordered 999 shirts
and 1000 pants for its inmates.


why this odd combination ?


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Salman khan is coming .......nJoy

Some Laws newton forgot to state...

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

No Offense meant...

A Sardarji happened to participate in a competition,which was about writing the shortest story.The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients
viz. :religion sex suspense and mystery.
Sardarji's turn came after many attempts by others.Sardarji gave a story, which was just one sentence and read :"Oh God, my wife is going to deliver a child".
Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the sardarji whether it contained all the four ingredients !!Sardarji replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:
Oh God : religion
my wife: sex
going to deliver a child : suspense (whether a girl or a boy)
"Okay.... but where is the mystery ?" asked one of the organizers.
The sardar replied : who is the father ??
Sardarji was declared the winner for writing the shortest story !

Puzzle

Observe this 3D Picture Carefully, an d try to find a Person.


















for answer just send a comment.

INDIA is GREAT

The population of India is 100 crores.

But 19 crores are retired.
That leaves 81 crores do the work.
There are 25 crores in school, which leaves 56 crores to do the work.
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Government, leaving 34 crores to do the work.
4 crores are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 30 crores to do the work.
Take away from above total the 20 crores people who work for State Governments (State Government employees officially do not work!) and that leaves 10 crores to do the work.
Total unemployed are 8 crores and that leaves 2 crores to do the work.
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in hospitals, leaving 80 lakhs to do the work.
Now, according to Indian Statistical Institute, there are 79,99,998 people in prisons throughout the country.
That leaves just 2 people to do the work.......You and me!!!And currently YOU are sitting at your computer reading mails.
So I am the only person in our country who is working!And that's why India is surviving!!!Now, please log out and do your jobBecause, for a change, I want to rest. And I don't want India to suffer because of that.

Evolution of Alphabets

Click On it for preview

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "SOMEONE U LOVE'" AND '"SOMEONE U LIKE"

In front of the person u love,ur heart beats faster.
But in front of the person u like,u get happy.

In front of a person u love,winter seems like a spring.
But in front of a person u like,winter is just a beautiful winter.

If u look into the eyes of the one u love,u blush.
But if u look into the eyes of the one u like,u smile.

In front of a person u love,u can't say anything on ur mind.
But in front of a person u like,u can.

In front of the one u love,u tend to get shy.
But in front of the one u like,u can show ur own self.

U can't look straight into the eyes of the one u love.
But u can always smile into the eyes of the one u like.

When the one u love is crying,u cry with him.
But when the one u like is crying,u end up comforting him.

The feeling of love starts from the eye.
But the feeling of liking starts from the ear.

So if u stop liking a person u used to like,all u need to do is close ur ears.
But if u try to close ur eyes,love turns into a drop of tear & remains in ur heart forever.......

Women To men dictionary

Women to Men Dictionary
How to interpret Women and Survive

Expression by women Meaning for Men
[1] Yes == No.
[2] No == Yes.
[3] May be == No.
[4] I'm sorry == You'll be sorry.
[5] We need == I want.
[6] It's your decision == My correct decision should be obvious by now.
[7] Do what you want == You'll pay for this later.
[8] We need to talk == I need to complain.
[9] Sure go ahead == I don't want you to.
[10] I'm not upset == Of course I'm upset, you moron.
[11] This kitchen is so == I want a new house.inconvenient.
[12] I want new curtains == carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper.
[13] I heard a noise == I noticed you were almost asleep.
[14] Do you love me? == I'm going to ask for something expensive.
[15] How much do you love me? == I did something today you're going to hate.
[16] I'll be ready in a minute == Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
[17] You have to learn to == Just agree with me.Communicate
[18] Are you listening to me? == Too late, you're dead.
[19] Go get your beer == You won't get what you are asking for


Now women should give the reverse if they have any

Some Interesting Random Thoughts

Here are some interesting random thoughts.....!!!


Should women have children after 35? No, 35 children are enough!
-------------------------------------------------------
No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

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Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun.

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Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep !

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ALCOHOL KILLS, SLOWLY. So what ? Who's in a hurry ?

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Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop.

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A good discussion is like a miniskirt; Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject.

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Children in backseats cause accidents; Accidents in backseats cause children !

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A drunk was hauled into court. "Mister," the judge began, "You've been brought here for drinking." "Great," the drunk exclaimed. "When do we get started?"

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Age is an issue of mind over matter; if you dont mind,it doesn't


You people can also share some more if you have.

Shortest fairy Tale

Another one tommorow

10 most stupid questions?

People usually ask obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question: Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't you try again?
3. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer Butter Masala" dish good?
Answer: No, it’s terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit on it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years.
Stupid Question: Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer: Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question: Is the guy you're marrying well?
Answer: No, he's a miserable wife beating, insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question: Sorry. Were you sleeping?
Answer: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not.
And you thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question: Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer: No, its autumn and I'm shedding.
9.At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question: Tell me if it hurts?
Answer: No it won’t. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question: Oh, so you smoke.
Answer: Gosh, it's a miracle ...it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!

Original Bihari Essay

Bihari Essay

A essay written by a Bihar---- candidate
You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.
This is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC (IAS)
Examinations.
The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,
And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is
got child.] He is sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are
afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the
milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont
have any such attachment]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth.Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans
and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species. Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees,
plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza ] , in hand , and
drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his
feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom
are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the
meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child.
This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be
paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
great velocity forwards.He has got tails also, situated in the
backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other
end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies
We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.and is now an
IAS, in bihar.

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LiFe Is LiKe An IcE cReAm, EnJoY bEfOrE iT mElTs!!

Yesterday and Today

Proud to Be a Vegetarian

Naman

~*~Type Of Girls~*~

HARD DISK GIRLS:
she remembers everything, FOREVER .

RAM GIRLS:
she forget about you, the moment turn her off.

WINDOW GIRLS:
Everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

SCREENSAVER GIRLS:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun.

INTERNET GIRLS:
Difficult to access

SERVER GIRLS:
Always busy when you need her.

MULTIMEDIA GIRLS:
She make horrible thing look beautiful

CD-ROM GIRLS:
She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL GIRLS:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense .

VIRUS GIRLS:
Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes, install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will lose everything...

>> Naman <<
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LIFE Without F Will Be = LIE,
I Belive in 3F's ------->Family Friends Fun...