Monday, June 05, 2006

Mohabbatein(Computer Professional Edition)

Mohabbtein luv theme

Ek Trainee tha anjana sa coding karne se woh darta tha...
Copy paste karke! , idhar udhar se pooch ke coding kiya karta tha,

Choree choree chupke chupke discussions mein soya karta tha...
Jab delivery honee hotee thee raat raat bhar jagta tha...

Kuch aata nahee tha usko.. jane kaise deliver karta tha...
Jabbhee milta tha kisee doosre developer se, unse poocha karta tha...
Coding kaisee hotee hai, yeh coding kaisee hotee hai ?

Aur voh developers bas yahee kah paate the.....

"Ankhe khulee ho ya ho band deedar code ka hota hai...
kaise kahoo mai o yaro yeh code kaise hota hai.....
tururururururururu ru ru ru ru ru...."

"Kya hai yeh jadoo hai koyee code jo chal jata hai, fix karke bugs
hazaro
deliver ho jata hai..."

"Door kahee onsite per hote hai yeh sare faisle, kaun jane koyee bug
kab
kaise kaha mile, jiske naseeb mein ho likha acceptance useeka hota
hai! ... kaise kahoon mai o yara yeh code kaise chalta hai...
tururururururururu ru

Monday, May 22, 2006

I know whats In there!!!

The below Embeded Flash object shows your Loacl Machine Info

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Important notes on Windows Registry

What is the Registry?
The Registry is a database used to store settings and options for the 32 bit versions of Microsoft Windows including Windows 95, 98, ME and NT/2000/XP. It contains information and settings for all the hardware, software, users, and preferences of the PC. Whenever a user makes changes to a Control Panel settings, or File Associations, System Policies, or installed software, the changes are reflected and stored in the Registry.

The physical files that make up the registry are stored differently depending on your version of Windows; under Windows 95 & 98 it is contained in two hidden files in your Windows directory, called USER.DAT and SYSTEM.DAT, for Windows Me there is an additional CLASSES.DAT file, while under Windows NT/2000 the files are contained seperately in the %SystemRoot%\System32\Config directory. You can not edit these files directly, you must use a tool commonly known as a "Registry Editor" to make any changes (using registry editors will be discussed later in the article).

The Structure of The Registry
The Registry has a hierarchal structure, although it looks complicated the structure is similar to the directory structure on your hard disk, with Regedit being similar to Windows Explorer.

Each main branch (denoted by a folder icon in the Registry Editor, see left) is called a Hive, and Hives contains Keys. Each key can contain other keys (sometimes referred to as sub-keys), as well as Values. The values contain the actual information stored in the Registry. There are three types of values; String, Binary, and DWORD - the use of these depends upon the context.

There are six main branches, each containing a specific portion of the information stored in the Registry. They are as follows:


* HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT - This branch contains all of your file association mappings to support the drag-and-drop feature, OLE information, Windows shortcuts, and core aspects of the Windows user interface.
* HKEY_CURRENT_USER - This branch links to the section of HKEY_USERS appropriate for the user currently logged onto the PC and contains information such as logon names, desktop settings, and Start menu settings.
* HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE - This branch contains computer specific information about the type of hardware, software, and other preferences on a given PC, this information is used for all users who log onto this computer.
* HKEY_USERS - This branch contains individual preferences for each user of the computer, each user is represented by a SID sub-key located under the main branch.
* HKEY_CURRENT_CONFIG - This branch links to the section of HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE appropriate for the current hardware configuration.
* HKEY_DYN_DATA - This branch points to the part of HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE, for use with the Plug-&-Play features of Windows, this section is dymanic and will change as devices are added and removed from the system.



Each registry value is stored as one of five main data types:


* REG_BINARY - This type stores the value as raw binary data. Most hardware component information is stored as binary data, and can be displayed in an editor in hexadecimal format.
* REG_DWORD - This type represents the data by a four byte number and is commonly used for boolean values, such as "0" is disabled and "1" is enabled. Additionally many parameters for device driver and services are this type, and can be displayed in REGEDT32 in binary, hexadecimal and decimal format, or in REGEDIT in hexadecimal and decimal format.
* REG_EXPAND_SZ - This type is an expandable data string that is string containing a variable to be replaced when called by an application. For example, for the following value, the string "%SystemRoot%" will replaced by the actual location of the directory containing the Windows NT system files. (This type is only available using an advanced registry editor such as REGEDT32)
* REG_MULTI_SZ - This type is a multiple string used to represent values that contain lists or multiple values, each entry is separated by a NULL character. (This type is only available using an advanced registry editor such as REGEDT32)
* REG_SZ - This type is a standard string, used to represent human readable text values.



Other data types not available through the standard registry editors include:


* REG_DWORD_LITTLE_ENDIAN - A 32-bit number in little-endian format.
* REG_DWORD_BIG_ENDIAN - A 32-bit number in big-endian format.
* REG_LINK - A Unicode symbolic link. Used internally; applications should not use this type.
* REG_NONE - No defined value type.
* REG_QWORD - A 64-bit number.
* REG_QWORD_LITTLE_ENDIAN - A 64-bit number in little-endian format.
* REG_RESOURCE_LIST - A device-driver resource list.



Editing The Registry
The Registry Editor (REGEDIT.EXE) is included with most version of Windows (although you won't find it on the Start Menu) it enables you to view, search and edit the data within the Registry. There are several methods for starting the Registry Editor, the simplest is to click on the Start button, then select Run, and in the Open box type "regedit", and if the Registry Editor is installed it should now open and look like the image below.

An alternative Registry Editor (REGEDT32.EXE) is available for use with Windows NT/2000, it includes some additional features not found in the standard version, including; the ability to view and modify security permissions, and being able to create and modify the extended string values REG_EXPAND_SZ & REG_MULTI_SZ.

Create a Shortcut to Regedit
This can be done by simply right-clicking on a blank area of your desktop, selecting New, then Shortcut, then in the Command line box enter "regedit.exe" and click Next, enter a friendly name (e.g. 'Registry Editor') then click Finish and now you can double click on the new icon to launch the Registry Editor.

Using Regedit to modify your Registry
Once you have started the Regedit you will notice that on the left side there is a tree with folders, and on the right the contents (values) of the currently selected folder.

Like Windows explorer, to expand a certain branch (see the structure of the registry section), click on the plus sign [+] to the left of any folder, or just double-click on the folder. To display the contents of a key (folder), just click the desired key, and look at the values listed on the right side. You can add a new key or value by selecting New from the Edit menu, or by right-clicking your mouse. And you can rename any value and almost any key with the same method used to rename files; right-click on an object and click rename, or click on it twice (slowly), or just press F2 on the keyboard. Lastly, you can delete a key or value by clicking on it, and pressing Delete on the keyboard, or by right-clicking on it, and choosing Delete.

Note: it is always a good idea to backup your registry before making any changes to it. It can be intimidating to a new user, and there is always the possibility of changing or deleting a critical setting causing you to have to reinstall the whole operating system. It's much better to be safe than sorry!

Importing and Exporting Registry Settings

A great feature of the Registry Editor is it's ability to import and export registry settings to a text file, this text file, identified by the .REG extension, can then be saved or shared with other people to easily modify local registry settings. You can see the layout of these text files by simply exporting a key to a file and opening it in Notepad, to do this using the Registry Editor select a key, then from the "Registry" menu choose "Export Registry File...", choose a filename and save. If you open this file in notepad you will see a file similar to the example below:

Quote:

REGEDIT4

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\Setup]
"SetupType"=dword:00000000
"CmdLine"="setup -newsetup"
"SystemPrefix"=hex:c5,0b,00,00,00,40,36,02


The layout is quite simple, REGEDIT4 indicated the file type and version, [HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\Setup] indicated the key the values are from, "SetupType"=dword:00000000 are the values themselves the portion after the "=" will vary depending on the type of value they are; DWORD, String or Binary.

So by simply editing this file to make the changes you want, it can then be easily distributed and all that need to be done is to double-click, or choose "Import" from the Registry menu, for the settings to be added to the system Registry.

Deleting keys or values using a REG file
It is also possible to delete keys and values using REG files. To delete a key start by using the same format as the the REG file above, but place a "-" symbol in front of the key name you want to delete. For example to delete the [HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\Setup] key the reg file would look like this:

Quote:

REGEDIT4

[-HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\Setup]


The format used to delete individual values is similar, but instead of a minus sign in front of the whole key, place it after the equal sign of the value. For example, to delete the value "SetupType" the file would look like:

Quote:

REGEDIT4

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SYSTEM\Setup]
"SetupType"=-


Use this feature with care, as deleting the wrong key or value could cause major problems within the registry, so remember to always make a backup first.

Regedit Command Line Options
Regedit has a number of command line options to help automate it's use in either batch files or from the command prompt. Listed below are some of the options, please note the some of the functions are operating system specific.


* regedit.exe [options] [filename] [regpath]
* [filename] Import .reg file into the registry
* /s [filename] Silent import, i.e. hide confirmation box when importing files
* /e [filename] [regpath] Export the registry to [filename] starting at [regpath]
e.g. regedit /e file.reg HKEY_USERS\.DEFAULT
* /L:system Specify the location of the system.dat to use
* /R:user Specify the location of the user.dat to use
* /C [filename] Compress (Windows 98)
* /D [regpath] Delete the specified key (Windows 98)

Maintaining the Registry

How can you backup and restore the Registry?

Windows 95
Microsoft included a utility on the Windows 95 CD-ROM that lets you create backups of the Registry on your computer. The Microsoft Configuration Backup program, CFGBACK.EXE, can be found in the \Other\Misc\Cfgback directory on the Windows 95 CD-ROM. This utility lets you create up to nine different backup copies of the Registry, which it stores, with the extension RBK, in your \Windows directory. If your system is set up for multiple users, CFGBACK.EXE won't back up the USER.DAT file.

After you have backed up your Registry, you can copy the RBK file onto a floppy disk for safekeeping. However, to restore from a backup, the RBK file must reside in the \Windows directory. Windows 95 stores the backups in compressed form, which you can then restore only by using the CFGBACK.EXE utility.

Windows 98
Microsoft Windows 98 automatically creates a backup copy of the registry every time Windows starts, in addition to this you can manually create a backup using the Registry Checker utility by running SCANREGW.EXE from Start | Run menu.

What to do if you get a Corrupted Registry
Windows 95, 98 and NT all have a simple registry backup mechanism that is quite reliable, although you should never simply rely on it, remember to always make a backup first!

Windows 95
In the Windows directory there are several hidden files, four of these will be SYSTEM.DAT & USER.DAT, your current registry, and SYSTEM.DA0 & USER.DA0, a backup of your registry. Windows 9x has a nice reature in that every time it appears to start successfully it will copy the registry over these backup files, so just in case something goes wrong can can restore it to a known good state. To restore the registry follow these instruction:
[list=1]
* Click the Start button, and then click Shut Down.

* Click Restart The Computer In MS-DOS Mode, then click Yes.

* Change to your Windows directory. For example, if your Windows directory is c:\windows, you would type the following:

cd c:\windows

* Type the following commands, pressing ENTER after each one. (Note that SYSTEM.DA0 and USER.DA0 contain the number zero.)

attrib -h -r -s system.dat
attrib -h -r -s system.da0
copy system.da0 system.dat
attrib -h -r -s user.dat
attrib -h -r -s user.da0
copy user.da0 user.dat

* Restart your computer.



Following this procedure will restore your registry to its state when you last successfully started your computer.

If all else fails, there is a file on your hard disk named SYSTEM.1ST that was created when Windows 95 was first successfully installed. If necessary you could also change the file attributes of this file from read-only and hidden to archive to copy the file to C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM.DAT.

Windows NT On Windows NT you can use either the "Last Known Good" option or RDISK to restore to registry to a stable working configuration.

How can I clean out old data from the Registry? Although it's possible to manually go through the Registry and delete unwanted entries, Microsoft provides a tool to automate the process, the program is called RegClean. RegClean analyzes Windows Registry keys stored in a common location in the Windows Registry. It finds keys that contain erroneous values, it removes them from the Windows Registry after having recording those entries in the Undo.Reg file.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Just read this !!!

Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of Parliament (MP)

Monthly Salary : 12,000
Expense for Constitution per month : 10,000
Office expenditure per month : 14,000

Traveling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : 48,000 (For a visit to Delhi & return: 6000 km)

Daily BETA during parliament meets : 500

Charge for 1 class (A/C) in train : Free (For any number of times)
(All over India)

Charge for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year
(With wife or P.A.)

Rent for MP hostel at Delhi : Free

Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units

Local phone call charge : Free up to 1,70,000 calls.

TOTAL expense for a MP per year : 32,00,000

TOTAL expense for 5 years : 1,60,00,000

For 534 MPs, the expense for 5 years : 8,54,40,00,000 (nearly 855 cores)
And they are elected by THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, by the largest democratic process in the world, not intruded into the parliament on their own or by any qualification.
This is how all our tax money is been swallowed and price hike on our regular commodities....... Think of the great democracy we have.............

PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO ALL CITIZENS OF INDIA .........

Friday, April 14, 2006

In the Hours of Meditation...

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The Voice, making itself heard in the stillness of meditation, said :

'Terrible is the bondage of this world. Difficult is to escape from out the net of Maya. Life teaches us that in order to live truely one must go beyond life, one must conquer death. This is the supreme task, and the way to this conquest is through the victory over those physical instincts that lead unto death. I speak deeply to thee, my son, asking thee to keep wide, wide awake and pay heed to all that which comes to tempt thee. The only way in which to progress spiritually is to anticipate the faintest rise of temptation. Keep strict guard over thy mind. Constantly bust thyself that which is great and noble. In this manner thou shalt gradually make thyself free.

'When temptation comes, it often comes, as it were, of a sudden, before the mind has time to become aware of what is happenning. One is apparently hurried on to the point of yielding. All saints understand this. Therefore they anticipate evil thought; defeating its strength and the possibility of its rising by strenuos good thought. By thought is one made and unmade. Beware, then, that thou dost think good thoughts.

'Remember that it is the mind which thou must keep constantly buoyed up. Never let it be idle. Idleness is the counterpart of the evil, the nest wherein it bears itself most fruitfully. Beware of idleness. Take life seriously. Realize the shortness of time and the greatness of the task of Self-unfoldment before thee. Now is thy time, now is thy opportunity. Bitterly shalt thou repent if thou dost allow thyself to drift carelessly into conditions of limitation and struggle, worse than those in which thou dost now find thyself. Be worthy of a better future, a better birth, by making thy present life a success of the spirit.

'The world abounds with death. The law of Karma is inevitable. Take heed, lest death find thee in the midst of thy sinning, and lest Karmafollow thy yielding to physical desire with increased bondage and dire misery. My son, after thou hast once tasted of the nectar of immortality, how is it possible for thee to feed on the husks of swine?

'Yet, do not be alarmed. The Grace of God is greater than mountain-loads of sin. So long as thou dost believe, so long is there hope. But the way is almost infinite in length. Think of the lifetimes necessary for the complete eradication of the evil, for the final transformation of the human into the divine consciousness. Canst thou, then, not understand how seriously thou shouldst labour for thine own good? And if thou dost love me, wilt thou not, for my sake at least, try to reach the Goal? How long have I waited for thee to be made whole and struggle manfully! I have yearned for thy righteousness. I shall always stand by thee; I shall always love thee, but thou must shake off thy lethargy. Come out of thy moral slothfulness; come, be a man!

--------------------------------------
Written by : Frank Alexander, a direct disciple of Swami Vivekananda.

The 4 laws of Project

Impossible Image

Can you belive this!!
Click on it and enlarge ot to believe.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

bEWARE OF DA gUILTY ONE














toke dekhe NEBO!! Posted by Picasa

Sunday, April 02, 2006

My CReations

















..........Some Of My Creations........ Posted by Picasa

The Love Paradox

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THE PARADOX :

“Every man in love is a poet inside.”

This truly canvases the state of a person in love. He becomes so romantic that he feels, he sees, he hears his sweetheart everywhere.

Jaanam, dekh lo, mit gayi dooriyaan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon, yahaan..
Main hi main ab tumhaare khayaalon mein hoon
Main jawaabon mein hoon, main sawaalon mein hoon
Main tumhaare har ek khwaab mein hoon basa
Main tumhaari nazar ke ujaalon mein hoon
Dekhti, ho mujhe, dekhti ho jahaan
Main yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon, yahaan hoon, yahaan
 

He cannot brush her off his mind for a single moment. Not that he wants to, but still the presence of the other person lingers whether he wants or not. Everything seems to be incomplete, tasteless without her. But still there lies an immeasurable, undescribable pleasure in this writhing pain. Only people with experience will know that.

When a love matures successfully, ultimately marriage happens. And…

“Aajke je prem-e pore unmaad, ghor songsari hobe kaal she.”

(The one who is madly in love today, will be entagled in the suffocating web of family tomorrow.)

–Suman Chattopadyay

Thus when marriage happens, children come into the scenario, the zing-factor disappears. I’m not ever saying that love disappears… I’m just saying that this butterflies in your stomach, the dreams of a beautifully moonlit walk along a beach, hand-in-hand … disappears. The romanticism disappears. The married couple knows about each and every habit of each other, they gradually turn over all the pages of a book, and perhaps doesn’t feel the urge for a revision. Everyday life becomes monotonous. But, man by nature is romantic, imaginative. He becomes bored at anything predictable. Hence the charm dies out. You can listen to someone crying out from within for a way out. Involved in the petty problems of life, the coin loses its shine, the green field becomes littered, the clear blue sky gets covered with rainy clouds. Frustration creeps in and results in outbursts. You look back to the good old days and give out a large sigh.

But you did become successful in love. What happened then? The problem is very plain… love is just a madness. It’s just natures chemistry to bring people together and reproduce offsprings. Men arent that much animalistic so that men will come running from all directions hearing a woman’s love-calls and make vigorous love. Nature is clever. She knows intelligent life needs intelligent devices to get it noticed. And hence is this dream called love, a strange sequence of chemical reactions in the brain! But there is a way out, and a most odd and surprising way…

Didn’t you ever feel a bit sorry for Saurav Ganguly? For his sudden exit and such a disrespectful manner, almost like a kick-in-the-butt. And for Sachin Tendulkar in Wankhede Stadium recently… for his tremendous insult bestowed by the wooing of his homeland crowd? Don’t you feel that they should have let go when the others thought they shouldn’t… i.e. they should let go when they are at the top, than while at the bottom. But still, human instincts hold them back. It can’t be helped. If Jack in Titanic would have survived, then it wouldn’t have been so much of a touching movie… I can still hear the old lady saying, “I don’t even have a single picture of him(Jack). He exists only in my memory.” The catch is that this line is so romantic because the person she’s talking about isn’t there. He’s an imagination… and hence the butterflies still exist in her stomach, the zing still is there to make her cry for her lost love, and wets our cheeks too! Though she's a century of years old, but at heart, she still remains the beautiful teenager Rose, almost like an angel to our eyes!

EPILOGUE :

Yes, now the time has come to phrase the paradox. So, here it is :

Successful love is always unsuccessful !

//**-------------------------------------------**\\

I AM INDEBTED TO MY DEAR FRIEND ADITYA NARAYAN ROYCHOUDHURY FOR HIS THOUGHTS. IN FACT I HAVE ONLY VOICED HIS OPINIONS...

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Moving Pyramid

Sunday, March 19, 2006

How to Treat A Rude Customer

An award should go to the gate attendant at Luqa airport. A crowded
Malta-London flight was cancelled. She was the lone attendant in charge of
re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry
passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the
counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST
CLASS".


The attendant replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you,
but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work
something out." The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the
passengers behind him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"


Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address
microphone: May I have your attention please? May I have your attention
please?" she began. With her voice being heard clearly throughout the
terminal, she said, "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW
WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate
14."


With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at
the attendant, gritted his teeth and said, "F... You!" Without flinching,
she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for
that too."

Si Lee

1. Favorite vegetable
* Mu Lee

2. Favourite Lunch
* Tha Lee

3. What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over?
* Kha Lee

4. Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name?
* Saa Lee

5. Favorite Breakfast
* Id Lee

6. Favourite festival
* Diwa Lee

7. Favorite Actress
* Sona Lee

8. Favorite Music
* Qawa Lee

9. Most interesting job?
* Coo Lee

10. When did Bruce Lee die?
* Fina Lee

11. How did Bruce Lee die?
* With a Go Lee

12. Favorite hill station
* Kulu Mana Lee

13. Nick name?
* Mawa Lee

14. Favorite Hindi movie?
* Gharwa Lee Baharwa Lee

15. Favourite cricketer?
* Saurav Gangu Lee

16. Favourite Pet
* Bil Lee

17. Favourite Passtime
* Khuj Lee

18. Bathing Place
* Na Lee

19. Sab Maaro
* Taa Lee

20. Mat Do
* Ga Lee

Friday, March 17, 2006

Turnin Over...

...into a new LEAF??














Way to go boy... Posted by Picasa

17 extraordinary human capacity

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Does god exist ?

does God exist ?

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, the Almighty.
He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't.How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)
Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow. Is God good? Student: Yes.

Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No

Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Student: From...God...

Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.

Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.Correct? Student: Yes.

Prof: So who created evil? (Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and serve theworld around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelled your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes, faith. And that is the problem science has.



Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat,mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor?
Is there such a thing asdarkness?!

Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of
something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing
light.... But if you have no! light constantly, you have nothing and it is
called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you
would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student: Sir, you are working on the premise of duality.
You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad
God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we
can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electrici!ty and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either
one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact
that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the oppositeof life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your
students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes,of course, I do.
Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realizewhere the argument is going.) !

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at
work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are
you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The class is in uproar.)

Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain? (The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelled it?.....No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrableprotocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student: That is it, sir.. The link between man & god is FAITH. That
is all that keeps things moving & alive.


That young man was ALBERT EINSTEIN.......

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Holi with a difference

Computer Era "Sholay"

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad
to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and start shouting: "Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh
loot-maar software?

Last date to kab ka nikal gaya".

Thakur [with anger]: "Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki

Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund
kar diya hai.

Kaalia: "Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire
kiye hain kya?"

Thakur: "Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal
raha hai."

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one
Water tank and
Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.

Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: "Ha ha... thakur ne freshers ko liya
hai ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin
aate."

Veeru shouts: "Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain,
Kuch bhi kar sakte hain."

Jay hits his keyboard,then says:"jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska
server down ho gaya."


AT GABBAR'S DEN...

Gabbar: "Kitne bugs the?"
Kaalia: "Do sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake?

Kya soch key aaye ho? Gabbar bahoot khush hoga?

Naya assignment dega ...aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi... barobar
milegi."
[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. "Kitne sessions hain is machine
mein?"

Sambaa: "Chhey sarkaar."

Gabbar: "Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai."
[logout - logout - logout].

"Haan ab theek hai... ab tera kya hoga" Kaalia?"

Kaalia: "Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha."
Gabbar: "To ab documentation kar

Monday, March 13, 2006

The Colours of Life !


Imagine a scene without colours.......

Hey! You did! Then you must be lying! Because it is impossible to even imagine something without colours. Even darkness has its typical colour. Now you'll try to say that something abstract like 'Love', 'Jeaslousy', 'Sorrow' doesn't have a colour...but, hey loser. think again, because here they are : LOVE JEALOUSY SORROW !

So you see, colours are everywhere, but its us who fail to notice. All the human senses are inter-dependant, each one can be related with the others. I can go as far as to say that each colour has its smell and taste and vice-versa ! Because I feel it. I feel life is a river, that moves on and on.... it can never come to a standstill, if it does, then either it overflows the obstruction and finds another way of flow, or else DIES. But it never stands still. Colours are like the fishes in the river, Sound is the soothing and continous music of the flowing waters and Taste is the feeling of a mouthful of cool pure water after a long walk under he sun. They all combine to give us the true picture of the river, of Life. Today, we celebrate the Colours of Life!

I remember the day in my childhood when I saw the people on the day of Holi/Dol, walking on the street with faces like aliens, some red, some black, some silver. I've seen them struggling with each other to escape from the mischievous hands of their friends, who make sure that he doesn't have even have a mole on his skin that hasn't been drenched in colours. To tell the truth, I felt very scared. I did never go out in the street that day... I just watched them from my veranda or the roof... those 'creatures' in pitiable and lauhgable states! But somehow, I did miss to take part!

Today, by the rule of nature, which says : "Everything that has a beginning, must end." my friends are no longer here. Either they have changed the residence, or they've formed other groups or else busy with other things. Once, not a single part of our para street was colourless, and now...and now would hardly see a patch of coloured water lying here and there! The whole area seems tobe somewhat deserted, somewhat colourless, somewhat lifeless.

Now I understand. Holi isn't only a day to make your friends' day in the bathroom very tough, but its a day of union, its a day of celebration... celebration of love, celebration of attachment, celebration of Life! Its a day when everyone, breaking the barriers of age, sex and status, come down on the same street, under the same sun and sky, and celebrate happiness. You'd hardly see a person crying on this day, no matter how much drenched he is. At first, maybe, the person who is very reluctant to bear the colour stains on his neatly ironed shirt or nice saree, is very cross when he gets stained. But then, knowing there's nothing to lose, he jumps into the scene and participates in making the others stained... stained with love, with joy, with life. This's how contagious happiness is. You start to smile and you make everyone inspired to do the same! You start to love, and others start loving you. Maybe you're not Manmohan Singh or Abdul Kalam or even a dada of the para, but still you've enough potential to make things change, change for the better... and make this place a better place to live in!

So what are you waiting for ?? RANG DE BASANTI !!

Echo of Life

A man and his son were walking in the forest. Suddenly the boy trips and feeling a sharp pain he screams, "Ahhhhh."

Surprised, he hears a voice coming from the mountain, "Ahhhhh."

Filled with curiosity, he screams, "Who are you?" but the only answer he receives is: "Who are you?"
This makes him angry, so he screams, "You are a coward!" and the voice answers, "You are a coward!"

He looks at his father asking, "Dad, what is going on?"

"Son," he replies, "pay attention!" Then he screams, "I admire you!".The voice answers, "I admire you!" .The father shouts, "You are wonderful!" and the voice answers, "You are wonderful!"
Then the father explains "People call this 'ECHO' but truly itis 'LIFE!'.
Life always gives you back what you give out! Life is a mirror of your actions. If you want more love, give more love!
If you want more kindness, give more kindness! If you want understanding and respect, give understanding and respect. If you want people to be patient and respectful to you, give patience and respect! This rule of nature applies to every aspect of our lives." Life always gives you back what you give out. Your life is not a coincidence, but a mirror of your own doings.


Naman